originally written may '05

 

For So many people that I have met that get caught up in the 'Ice' scene, these 3 words can be as foreign as walking on the moon! Saying no is not a problem for someone who has never done it. Saying no is easy for someone who dosen't want it. Saying No is impossible for someone who can't get enough of it. It is quiet literally 'A devil in a wedding Dress' if you find that you are one of the latter. I have met countless users, and many of these people I would consider to be 'Chronic' Users. By this I mean people who use atleast 1 time a week, but most often it means everyday. It may seem hard to believe, but I would estimate that atleast 50 percent of all users would qualify as one of these folks. And, the longer you go using in this manner, the less likely it is that you will ever stop using completely. There are no 'offical' stats on this, at least none that i have found. In my experience people who use this heavily never stay clean completely, even if they are able to stay clean for a year or more. Granted, a year is a long time to go, and most doctors/SA counslers will tell you that if you can make it this long you have it beat. I agree with this for the most part, except how many people after a considerable amount of time sober decide to do the 'occasional' weekend-bender? I have not met a single person who does not do this from time to time. Like my dad once told me, one the meth monster bites your forever scared. I guess the best defense is to stay away from the stuff. Yeah, it might be a lot of fun, but it will become a monkey on your back. So to those of you who may have found this by accident or otherwise, take a lesson thats free and won't cost you anything. If not then I invite you to step up and prepare to pay. In terms of pure dollars becoming a meth User amounts to buying a new car or house. You will never have enough money to buy either one of these things while you are a user, and clearly becoming a user means never being able to quite forever. And in the end it's only a question of yes or no. What will it be?

Subvergence.  It is a strategic art that aims to errode the integrity and order of the targeted system, and if successful will affectively undermine the ability of an enemy to persevere and carry the fight on to victory.  Of course the 'Target System" can be anything from a building or a vehicle, and can include organizations, societies, and/or governments.  The instruments and methods neccissary to acheive your objective must be crafted to match  your goals, etc. 

Subvergence: The phenomina of the drug counter culuture fueled by an endless flow of an increasingly higher quality product is an alarming threat to our National Security.  Drug abuse, alcoholism, prostitution and the affects they can have on unsuspecting peoples has long been known (Native Americans, Chinnesse, Tribal Africans).  Like a disease for which no natural immunity exists because of a lack of experience and exposure  has left entire populations  vulnrable,  a targeted population unaware that premeditated and deliberate efforts to flood their neighborhoods and communities with powerful drugs and narcotics would be vulnreable in a similar way.  Subvergence of a targeted populus through these unconventional means and methods I believe is more reality than you might excpect.  Subvergence is a practice that has been used throughout history, and even our government has a history of taking advantage of these situations when it servers some greater good.  (at the least indirectly, by seeming not to notice activities it would otherwise regard as criminal behaviours if doing so acheives some favorable result).

I find it to be a little more than a curiosity that the recent surge in popularity of desighner drugs offers some very strong evidence that our streets and young people are being targeted by these new, cheap, yet powerful 'craze' drugs.  It's not just that these products are being manufactured in ways to appeal to many trends that are common in younger generations, but more importantly it is the people and places that are involved in the manufacturing and distribution that has made me think.  For example, it has been a well know fact that Asian Mafias are responsible for the majority of the supply of "California Ice" (Crystal Meth) as it first appeared in the United States starting in the early to mid 1990's.  I believe It is a strange coincidence that since the same period of time there has been an increasing prescence of Asian peoples owning and operating Naiil and Beauty Salons.  In some parts of the country this group nearly dominates in terms of ownership and total workers.  The reason this is significant is because most of the precursor chemicals used to manufacture Ice can be found in any one of these places.  The same orginzations have been very heavily involved in the booming Ecstatcy trade  here  as well

If motivated individuals and/or Foreign Intelligence services could successfully flood the streets with enough of the right drugs long enough, it would only take a few generations  (20 - 30 years) before the affects would be devistating and easily measured by those responsible.  Because these things tend to take on a life of their own, once the demand is 'implanted' within the targeted population the problem would no longer need to be atagonised to continue to persisit.  Once the demand reaches siffucent levels ( total number of users creating a significant amount product demant) it would not take long for black market profiters would want a piece of the action.  And then the origianl 'product specialist' could escape undetected and begin preparing for the next 'Craze' phenomina.  And this process could be repeated as often as a new drug can be developed, and if it is successfull these types of operations would be not only very affective but profitable!  It is not surprising that most of the profits of the Illicit Drug Trade in the United States are spent over seas, and I think this is without a doubt strong evidence that what I am talking about here is not just some construct of my wondering imagination.  The more I think about how it 'Could' Work, the more and more it seems obvious to me that infact this is exactly what has been going on. 

I Think it all began at the start of the Cold War during the 1950's.  Since 1950 drug abuse and addiction began with the Baby Boomer Generation  and has been a menace to each generation in the United States since then.  Each Decade has had at least 1 or more "Inovation" that produced a 'Drug Fad' that eventually swept the entire country.  And with each generational 'craze' there are distinct similarites.  The new suhstance is more powerful than it's predicesors, significantly cheaper, easeir to handle/use, and is popular with a different segment of society. 

The 50's : Pot and Refer Madness
The 60's: Lsd and Hallucinagenics
The 70's: Stimulants and Barbituates
The 80's: First Herion, Then Crack, Then Ecstacy
The 90's: First GHB,The Crystal Meth/ Ice, and Also Ecstacy.
The 00's: Almost Every Drug Just mentioned now enjoys Record  Popularity in terms of      demand, users, and total consumption.

end of part 1.

Shard Bars, the wave of the future.   No shit, and You thought I was playing.


http://gprime.net/video.php/shardslight


I Told  you Niggas!!

Tell me you didn't see it comin!!!

And it so often happens, when your either by yourself or with a group of people, the more you do the more you see things from the 'Superior' point of view.   Your minds eye becomes an inflated ego, neurotic from a dopamine overload, and hours of endless ramblings about things that are more fantasy than fact.  For an instant, you are a person of endless knowledge and understanding (so it seems).  Your ability to interprute the world and lives of those you know may suddenly border the fringes of psychic/telepathic, and intitavily you seem to know all the right answers or actions neccessary for anyone or any situaiton.  True Omnipatance is yours, and then you wake up (Go to sleep) with the crash (wake up for real sober).  Suddenly, you have lost it all!!!  You can't remeber where you left your wallet, much less why you sent your friends home with ideas about conqueriing the world from only an hours worth of conversations (hahahahah).

So this leads me to a memory of a time where I found myself with a small group of friends conversating about the usual ramble of important   psycho-bable.  Then it happened.  I found myself bobbling in and out of 2 conversations while I was serfing the Web, and I heard a friend re-tell a story about a recent experience he had with a family member.  He was cleaning out a garage of someone he knew, and discovered a hidden stash of porn, and other various objects junked or left behind.  And from this little fragment of a conversation, my mind ran with it.  Suddenly I had invented a 'What if' scenario which could make us all hero's and rich at the same time.  Well, I won't really go into specifics, except to say that we all agreed that we had discovered that one of our friends family members (who had long ago left the country and married a much younger women in a south American country) was actually a serial murder who had managed to conciel so well that he was still walking around free to do as he pleases.  We decided it would be winning plan to investigate the situation ourselves, get the evidence we needed to damb this scum of the earth, ,and use it to black mail the guy for all he is worth.  Since he makes upwards to 300,000 a month as a network guy somewhere in latin America, we suddenly found ourselves at the center of a true crime and punishment Documethdrama. Our plan was to catch the guy on one of his return trips to the US, and pinch him till he pays up.  The truth of whether or not we had discovered something real or fake never materialized, but it would be a great 'blair witch project' style movie if done the right way.  Maybe we should try........

MethOPsychicOmnipitantIntuitions make it all  happen, or something.

"But I never touched nothing, that my spirit could Kill

You know I've seen a lot of people walking around with tombstones in their eyes

But the Pusher don't care if you live or if you die

God Damb , The Pusher"

This song used to be about the way things used to be, but I think today this song means something quiet different. If your a pusher, your a clucker.  You do too much of your own shit, and you need to make up the difference. The Pusher? More like an addicted hustler.

 

God Damb The Pusher

But should you declare total war on him? 

"Cut him where he stands, shoot him if runs, prison!"

NO WAY.  He wouldn't be a pusher if there weren't 20 million people looking for his product.

Treat the problem, and the pusher is just a piece of history.  Beat it out of him, and the Pusher Becomes a Gorilla the size of King Kong.  Why?  Because the sickness spreads.  It's a disease. Period.

Duece

 

How do you let go of something that interweaves itself into your life perfectly, like the red stripe on a candy cane? 

If your answer is not to let it happen in the first place, your a winner. take a cookie, and get the fuck off my blog!

Seriously, there is no other answer except STOPPING, HEALING, AND MOVING ON.  No step groups, no rehabs, no jail, nothing will end the cycle. 

STOPPING: Deciding not to do it, under no circumstance, no matter what.  Think about it like your life depends upon it (and likely it does). Realize that there may always be something that will tempt you, a voice in the back off your head, a pretty face with a pretty smile nudging you gently, and it may NEVER COMPLETELY LEAVE YOU.  Remeber, NO is NO.  It's that simple.  Everyone CAN SAY NO OR YES, BUT ONLY NO WORKS.

HEALING: Dont let your mind take you on a reminsant tour of the past.  Learn to think of tommorrow as if it were today.  Almost every recovering addict I know swims in an ocean of memories, Memories without end or changeable outcomes.  THE PAST IS LOST TO HISTORY FOREVER. ACCEPT IT.  To live in tommorrow is to remeber what it was like as a child, when distant futures were like dreams, fantastic journies into the realm of great mystery.  Imagination my friends is the greatest tool, the greatest gift of the mind.  Tommorrow is whatever you want it to be, if only you are bold enough to dream it.



MOVING ON: This is where you should be from the moment you have said NO.  It begins at the very moment that you decide enough is enough.  There will be times troubled, there will be tears, there will headaches.  Welcome back to real life!  Read books about setting goals, find a park to take someone too, walk in the rain, run a mile every day, drink tons of fresh water, eat, eat, eat, and thank god for allowing you to be a part of the collective human concious for another day.  Take everyday like you take an unopened gift at Christmas: you don't know whats inside, but whatever it is the excitement and mystery captures your IMAGINATION. 

Peace my Brothers and Sisters

So how do you tell if someone you know is a 'Tweaker'?  These days, I often find myself asking the question, "how do I know if someone is NOT a tweaker"!!

Once, someone said, "you always know a tweaker, because they are always talking about 'They, and Them.  You know, They always know, and I am to good to get caught by them, and they are always watching"

I found this particular statement to be very funny at the time.  I have seen a lot of people on Drugs, and this was just way to real to be BS.  But REally,paranoia is part of life when your a tweaker.  At some point or another, everyone who uses it has an 'Episode' or two, and it's no fun if it happens to you! 

I know of someone who's family has been changed forever by this Tweaker Business. Sort of cliche I know, because there literally  are thousands of family's that this can be said is true.  But since I am talking about paranoia, I'll mention this one.  This dude's parents divorced sometime before I met him, but we became friends in Junior High.  At that time, his family seemed normal enough.  Except for the fact that this dude had no curphew, and he litereally could leave anytime day or night, as long as he told his mother where he was it was cool.  So he had it pretty easy compared to the rest of us, because his mom was really super cool.  She was not the typical mom, to say the least.  She worked a lot, and she took care of as much as she could, and at the end of the day she liked to party a little.  We all knew something was up, becasue on some weekends my Homie and his bro's would have like these juvinille house party's before it was cool to have a house party.  Nothing to crazy really, but dudes mom would stay gone sometimes a day at a time (on weekends usually). 

Eventually, we all got older, and in high school we all started to 'experiment' with different things, not unlike any other high schooler's since the beginning of recorded history.  And when we started to 'try' drugs, we started sneaking booze and cigs, then pot, then lsd, then coke then whatever else one might come accross.  By the time we graduated, My group of friends had changed dramatically, but one thing remained unchanged.  We still hung out at my buddy's house because it was the best place to get high without fear of getting caught.  Dudes' mom let him and us smoke pot and sometimes bought us beer, in exchange for promising not to drive fucked up, and not to be too loud.  Hell, she even smoked with us.  She was really cool, and everyone loved that place.

A couple of years later, I was in college and my life was becoming very hectiic.  I was working sometimes 2 jobs plus going to school full time.  I lost touch with a lot of people then, but  I started to hear stories about how my homeboy's family had gone bizzerkoid!

Seems the whole family started to do speed, or atleast my homie and his Mom and her new boyfriend.  Supposidly, the new boyfriend was a huge Partyier, and was an extremeist by nature.  Next thing you know, dude's mom is flipping out on shit all the time, Dude is always pissed off about something the new boyfriend is doing, etc.  I can't be real sure what was going on, but eventually dude's mom went crazy.  Apperently she started to use coke then meth daily, and eventually she cracked.  She started to think everyone was a cop, you remember 'Them'?

Eventually she lost her mind completely, and we all thought our buddy was going to lose it too.  Not so, because I still see him every now and again.  I know his mom has been clean for going on 10 years now, and she has not returned from 'Deep Space' as My friend has often refered to her condition.  I believe she is a Parnoid schizophrenic, but I am not totally positive on that.  I do know that she had been using Meth hard core for months prior to her 'checking out', and after 10 years she is still nutz. 

The point of all of this is that it's easy to point out a person who is late in the game, someone who has used for a long time, or atleast a lot in a recent period of time.  They are usually so freaked out looking, so skinny, and often so eradic you can't miss it.  But the majority of people who use don't seem unordinary whatsoever.  Infact, Ill bet you that atleast 1 out of every 5 of your friends is a 'closet tweaker', and it's probably the one that you would think is the least likely of your friends to be a 'druggie'.  Thus the secretive nature of things.....

To Be Continued.

Duece

I have something great to share with everyone who reads this

go to this site and let your voice be heard!  This is a site devoted to the latest bills in the congress that will affect your life and mine.  This is an excellent opportunity for all of us to tell our representatives how we feel about the laws they think we support.  What are you waiting for?

http://www.aclu.org/DrugPolicy/DrugPolicyMain.cfm

http://actioncenter.drugpolicy.org/action/

Duece

 

 

For many people who are diagnosed 'ADD' and 'ADHD', it is safe to assume that they also have OCD (obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Ironically, the most common forms of treatment for these conditions involve the prescription of some sort of stimulant to 'calm'!  Do you think that maybe there is some sort of conection here between these conditions, and apparent 'self medication' that goes on by people with these problems?  It doesn't take a genious to figure this one out, and I think more research needs to be done into this phenomina.

So If you have seen what I am talking about, or you have experienced this yourself go get some help.  Otherwise, you could be headed for chaos and destruction, and a life of shattered dreams like broken glass because of Meth.

 

Duece

http://www.dpft.org/

 

Ah Yes.  Tonight as I begin another look inside the not so distant world of the 'Tweaker', everyone should realize that what I am doing here is not an attempt to glamorize this problem.  Despite of the fact that I have made attempts at humor in describing some of the things I have seen, still I do try to portray through what I write something that is more real an objective.  After all, humor is a part of our lives, and is a phenomina of the human condition at large.  So I am adding this a disclaimer for those who may find some of this material to be offensive and otherwise counter productive.

Jeckly and Hyde are two persona's that almost everyone who becomes addicted to 'Tweak' will inherit.  Almost like a uniform or membership card, this duality comes with the deal.  By day (non-tweaking hours) people are otherwise normal by all appearences.  They go to work, they maintain complex social relationships, and so forth.  Most are white colar, middle to upper class, and by all outward appearences seem ordinary in every way.  But as the cyclye progresses, and usage grows from weekends only to an all day everyday thing subtle changes begin to happen.  Soon cracks begin to erode the carefully hidden facade, and 'Mr./Mr.s Hyde' begins to overpower.  The sickness has by now taken a firm grip over this person's life.  As friends, family, and coworkers begin to see the changes most of the time there is no aparent explanation.  Usually when confronted a person will find some crafty way to explain it all away.  Indeed, most 'Tweakers' are highly intelligent people in the beginning.  Thus through wit and manipulation of ignorance the deception can be a complete smokescreen.....

 

More in a bit....

Duece

http://www.dpft.org/

 

For So many people that I have met that get caught up in the 'Ice' scene, these 3 words can be as foreign as walking on the moon! Saying no is not a problem for someone who has never done it. Saying no is easy for someone who dosen't want it. Saying No is impossible for someone who can't get enough of it. It is quiet literally 'A devil in a wedding Dress' if you find that you are one of the latter. I have met countless users, and many of these people I would consider to be 'Chronic' Users. By this I mean people who use atleast 1 time a week, but most often it means everyday. It may seem hard to believe, but I would estimate that atleast 50 percent of all users would qualify as one of these folks. And, the longer you go using in this manner, the less likely it is that you will ever stop using completely. There are no 'offical' stats on this, at least none that i have found. In my experience people who use this heavily never stay clean completely, even if they are able to stay clean for a year or more. Granted, a year is a long time to go, and most doctors/SA counslers will tell you that if you can make it this long you have it beat. I agree with this for the most part, except how many people after a considerable amount of time sober decide to do the 'occasional' weekend-bender? I have not met a single person who does not do this from time to time. Like my dad once told me, one the meth monster bites your forever scared. I guess the best defense is to stay away from the stuff. Yeah, it might be a lot of fun, but it will become a monkey on your back. So to those of you who may have found this by accident or otherwise, take a lesson thats free and won't cost you anything. If not then I invite you to step up and prepare to pay. In terms of pure dollars becoming a meth User amounts to buying a new car or house. You will never have enough money to buy either one of these things while you are a user, and clearly becoming a user means never being able to quite forever. And in the end it's only a question of yes or no. What will it be?

Staying clean from an addiction is not an easy process, and I must emphasize process. Most of the time people don't think of their lives in terms of processes, but that what your life is. One giant series of processes runing, sometimes several at the same time (actually almost always several at the same time), shaping who we are. By this I mean daily routines begin to form daily habits, which form lifelong habits. Repitition is a key part of any processes that is going to stick, and the more you do something the more likely it is that you will keep doing that. Most of the time this does'nt mean much in terms of negative affects to one's lifestyle, or one own health, or what ever. Because we can observe this in everyone, it's really a great way to figure out what kind of person someone is or isn't. All you have to do is pay attention to details. Anyway, so a process that is repeated becomes a type of memory that we call a habit. Well when you apply this process to the use of Drugs, alcohol, sex, and all things of a compulsive nature you can see how this can become a negative situation. And I think it is a safe assumption that most people who start using drugs dont realize that they are going to become addicts, just like someone who leaves his house for dinner on saturday night is going to get killed by a drunk driver at 230 am in a freak accident. Thus, the unpredictable nature of our world right? Well the thing about drugs is that we do know about the dangers, the affects, but people still do them. Well why does this happen? Because drugs do have desireable affects that people enjoy, or atleast learn to enjoy. And the more they understand the way a particular drug affects the mind and body generally the more a person will enjoy getting high. And the only way all of this stuff can happen is if someone uses something over and over again. Just another process that develops a habit, and the longer one uses, the greater the memory or Habit etc. There are a lot of other variables to deal with in the real world that better describe (and more accurately) depict the situtation, but the basic idea I am putting forward is still intact. Now losing a habit is an entirely different story. One might think that it's the same thing, just done in reverse. It is a little like this, but not exactly. Yes to kick the habit, there is a process involved that includes not using the drug anymore. Therefor developing a habit of not using instead of continuing to build the old habit bigger. But people have dynamic lives that are multifaceted and complex. And often as a person is building the habit that will become thier addiction other things are taking place that begin to shape thier lives around the new habit. People may lose old friends, relationships end, jobs change, finacial stability gives way to instability, sanity gives way to insanity. Soon, the person finds them in what seems like a distant region of the universe, and only faiding memories remind them of where they once had been. This is often a source of depression, anxiety, and overall hopelssness that further instigates the addictive habit. So in order to stay clean people must first realize that what has happened is that their live has morphed into something they did'nt expect, plan, or probbaly want and that work will be required to overcome what they have done to themselves. First thing is abstinence from the addictive processes, patterns, etc. Second thing is that they have to committ themselves to finding new friends, places to go, hobbies, all of these things are potentioal habits of the future which will require repititoin to build them into their life. I think everyone's experience is different, so It is difficult to say that this is what must be done to everyone. But what ever it is you do, it has to be done ritually, daily, for as long as is neccessaary to leave the old habit behind. The longer you go without using, the better you feel etc. Now the amount of time that you have spent developing a partern fpor addcition will have someting to do wit how long it will take to be completely free of the addiction. So if you smoke for 10+ years, it might take you 10+ years before you don't feel like you have want to smoke. Usually an addiction and detox last less than a week, but its the conditioning that has occured over the long term that is going to make it difficult to stay clean. So , once you decide to quite, let the new process be a process that involves atleast a daily recommittment not to use. Everyday you have to make this choice, probably for atleast severl months, before you will begin to develop the new habit. So if your trying to quit using drugs, you can only be succeesful if you DON'T DO THEM ANYMORE FOR ANY REASON.
More later.....

http://www.sober24.com/

http://www.rational.org/faq.html

Some of my recomended places to get info on how to recover. Duece at ya.

Yeah I must say without question this little Firecracker is something else. I met this darling one night at a friends, and instantly I was intrigued by her charm. She is quite and petitie, a tiny little thing, but her wit and intellect is what really sets this tweaker apart from the rest. She is one of these people who without even trying, will pearce your heart and soul and bring even the mightiest of men to his knees. As a sure sign of our times this poor child has sufered through some of the harshest and unthinkable personal tragedies a person can imagine, she is homeless, unemployed, and addicted to no less than 3 substances on the night that we met. Xanax and Ice cream was her standard diet. I asked her if she knew she could become addicted to Xanax, and she said no. It had been about 12 hours at this point since her last '4 bar', and I could tell that she was going through withdrawls. She didn't remember what she had done the previous night, or much of anything about the previous 3 months for that matter. I was horrified! Now that being said, I must interject the important point that I know that I have a codependant tendancy to reach out and latch on to these types of people, and I immediatly proceded with extreme caution. I did not want to end up getting involved with this darling, nor did I want to find myself picking up the shattered pieces of my ego in a few months either. Still, I was so terrified for this person, so shocked by her carelessness I just had to do something to help her. So I took her in, and I tried to help her to understand how dangerous her situation was and so on. Of course, one thing leads to another, and yeah you know whats up. We couldn't help our selves I guess, even though I knew better. All the logic and reasoning in the world could not have saved me at this point, so I did what I thought was my duty as a man. I stuck with my original intentions, and I saw to it that I followed thru with what I set out to do. I paid for her to stay in a hotel for 2 weeks while she detoxed, I fed her, I comforted her, I even bathed her! Then she left. I don't know if she has stayed clean, but I do know that I did something for her that no one else at that time would have done. Even though she has never expressed to me in any great amount her gratitude I think she will in time come to appreciate what I did. If for no other reason I did this because I believe it is necessary to sometimes do what you believe is right even if it is unpopular or thankless. You should do things sometimes simply because it is the right thing to do. I call her the Lizard because she loves the color pink and she loves 'Sobe Lizard Fuel'! Love ya Liz! Duece

So Far I have only mentioned briefly some of my own personal experiences in the Meth Counterculture, and I have said very little about the risks associated with using. A good source of information on this subject and be found at the Natiional intitute on Drug Abuse Web Site.

www.nida.nih.gov/drugpages/

Here you can read about he latest research studies that deal with the affects of the drug and it's unwanted side affects. It's interesting that the government has tons of data on what the drug does, but seems to know very little about the way it creates and manipulates populations within the society, and the subsiquent counter sub-Cultures created. One explanation, It would seem, is that possibly the Government does not know anything because it does care to know. Infact, there is more statistical data available about the number of Drug Raids, encarerations, even the number of convicted Murders found to have been under the infulence of Meth at the time of their crimes, than there is information about how many families are affected by meth Each year. Some say it's do to the lack of the Fed's ability to acurratly asses the situation do to the secret nature of those who use it. I doubt there is a shortage of available interviewess when you consider how many people are in jail right now for the drug, so again I put forward the assertion that the Govn't doesn't know anything because it doesn't ask or want to know for whatever reason. Anyway, It would seem that the greatest long term risk of using Meth is the risk of Fatal Anurisym later in life due to irreversible damage done to the vessels in the brain during use. It only stands to reason that for those who have been heavy users, this is by far the greatest risk of all since there appears to be nothing that can be done to reverse this situation. As a wise man once told me,

" EVEN IF YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT WITH THIS STUFF, AT SOME POINT, IT DOESN'T MATTER. WHEN YOU HAVE REACHED A CERTAIN POINT, IT'S A LIFE SENTENCE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. EVEN IF YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT"

Think about it. DUECE

So it's been like 5 Days since you slept last right? And you know that you have to pay rent in like, oh lets say, a week ago. You have 275.00 Dollars, your girlfriend is pregnant, you owe some sweety mexican something like 500.00 dollars, and you have no job, phone, food, or Car. What do you do? Pray? Not gonna help with the mexican or the Rent. You could dump the Girl, and disappear, but then what about the Mexicans? You could do the world a favor and kill yourself, but then what about the girl and the kid? Fucken A, huh? Well, This is'nt even the worst of it, but you can see what happens when you do things without thinking it through. This is what happened to a friend of mine a couple of years back. He met some people that gave him access to more trouble than it was worth, and it almost cost him everything. He was just a small time guy really, and before he knew it he owed the mexicans something like 2000.00 after one stupid decision! Next thing you know I seem him a week later, he hasn't slept, he's babling on about Cops, Aliens, and some dude named Pancho. He's got a camoflauge hunting Vest on, and camo face paint everywhere, and he's hiding in the bushes outside his apartment with about 5 kitchen knives and 1 .22 handgun!!!! His girlfriend was inside baking a cake for these Mexican dudes, and I am looking at both of them thinking 'WTF, How Do I know you again?" I think he finally squared everything away with that situation, and eventually things got back to normal (but what is normal for a tweaker?). The girl bolted sometime shortly after this, and I think he went to jail for a little while. I asked him why he didn't just stop, and he said he couldn't. He said once he got on that train, he couldn't just get off 'cause it either crashes or if your lucky it finally stops.....If your lucky. Untill next time..........Duece

I must excuse my self for a moment. When I said earlier that the Frog is enslaved by a system, I mean that the system that was created to stop one problem did that and created a new one entirely. You see, when people like The Frog first start using, something happens that sets the stage for a life of crime. A person learns how to create the illusion that everything is ok for the rest of the world to see, with the hope of consealing that which is 'illicit'. From here, a wonton teenager quickly adapts the technique to every other activity that they hope to keep concealed for as long as humanily possible. Everything from smoking to Sex is treated in such a manner. It is hard not to see how this will bring only negative consiquences for all involved. And as the person gets better and better at hiding things, the bolder a person is capable of becoming. And then when things get out of control thats when you read about it on the sunday news, or the Cop standing at your Front door at 3 in the morning. Then it's to late, and it's been to late since that first instant that the kid starts down that road. The worst thing I see about this situation is that there are no easy ways back once your there. And I think so many of the 'Lost' are those who have gone to places that no one can imagine, and fewer still can imagine ways to help them! There should be an easy way for people who need help to say 'hey, over here!'. Anwyay..... So what does a person do who has what ammounts to twice as much awake time as the average person does by not sleeping? Well what do you think people do? Take a guess, or two if you want. I'll bet your thinking Sex right? Well guess what, your right! And people do, boy. They will fuck like monkeys as much and as often as humanily possible, and life is great. And it would always be great, except the more you do speed the lower your sex capability becomes. Notice I did not say 'less sex drive' or 'less motivation. I said CAPABILITY. So what I am talking about here is precisely this: YOu want it, you may even be drooling on yourself you want it that bad. She maybe dripping like a fresh squeezed lemon all down your crotch and legs and shit, but that won't matter none. In fact sometimes nothing short of a miracle from God will help a nigga out. It halppens to ladies too. Basically the entire sexual mechinism becomes dependant on the stimulus, and a person eventually needs it to become aroused and so on. It's really sad, and quiet scary to think about all of the Narrotifc fiending that could be going on at any given moment around the world due to this and similar situations. And imagine if one of these psycho's actually gets some one day, and gives birth to a real person. Wouid not their DNA bear a permant impression from these early beginngs? Lord help us!! Free the Slaves!!

Not like a slave in the traditional sence, nor as in the S & M examples that some of you probably are thinking. No being a slave in this context is really about being a part of something that eventually grows to become bigger than the individual and that persons wants and needs become insignificant to the larger situation. Thus, the larger system begins to control the individuals every thought, action, and decisions (and you become a slave). This happens to many people who decided to take the enterprising path, which often leads to the utlimate slavery of becoming the Master Chef (know what I mean?). Our first celebrity introduction is the Frog. He is not your typicall user, but he does represent the more elusive types. His dominan is more like a cave than a house. His living enviroment is usually dark, unorganized, and mostly a functional dwelling. He's not likely to end up on E! or entertainment tonight, but almost anybody who knows him is entertained by his presence. It's amusing really, and it pisses him off if you laugh when he's serious about something. So.....Here's the FROG......... Through out the various travels and social interminglings, I have encountered a diverse and assorted medley of people and personalities alike. One that I care to mention at the moment is a person I will only refer to as 'The Frog'. This no holds barred Maverick is one of the craziest, hot tempered, 5'6 125 lb white boys I have known. He is called 'frog' Because when he gets super tweaked he will squat down in the corner of the room (demand that everyone remain completely silent), and he will focus on any sound or movement that happens. If your smoking, he will take a hit in the same squated position, quickly look right to left, then blow out the cloud. If he gets a real doosey, he might make a funny face, and then the hic ups start. Now it's important not to laugh, or atleast let him see you laughing, because this will set 'The Frog' off!! Now all of this may seem like a 3 ring Circus (and it is), but The Frog does have some redemming qualities that make him valuable. He knows so many god Damb people, he can get you almost anything you might want. Second, he sure does know how to cultivate some nice buds, and finally he is always looking for something or trying to move something. In short, 'The Frog' is well connected, despite of his reputation for the bizarre. A simple minded fellow might not be able to appreciate a person like 'Frog', but His industrious knack for finding unique and desireable things is vast and includes almost anything (except Beautiful Ladys, not a lady killa) you can think of. Unfortunatly hanging out with the frog won't usually get you laid, and if there do happen to be any available Females Frog will do just about anything to run off any competion so to leave only himself and his unsuspecting prey alone togethar. I should point out that The frog is actually quite intelligent, and I would be willing to bet that had he not taken up a life of crime he would have been successful in his profession. He is, like so many others in this category, cursed by a system that is more interested in criminalizing society than it is in the people who are actually in it. Crime is a big business people, for both cop and robber. Untill next time, Duece!