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    February, 2007

    Life is a Gentle Breeze

    From where it comes, and where it goes is unknown
    you can hear it, but never see it
    you feel it, and know that its there
    you may sometimes reach for it, and
    someties it slips right between your fingers
    If you catch it just right, it can take you places
    Beyond your wildest Dreams!
    And when its gone, nothing is ever the same as before.
    It's always there and irreplaceable
    Life is like a gentle breeze,
    And it's unmistakeable!
    February, 2007

    Loathsome

    "Loathsome" by JJ
     
    Loathsome, lonesome
    give me just one hit
    One bump takes me awayy.
    I can forget all regret, and no more pain
    my old friend emptiness, hello
    the potion pushes through my veins
    I feel like nothing, no one matters
    See me swimming in the void
    Stole away all the pain
    Like the monkey pushing that button
    going insane.
     
    Lost again in overdrive, emotions on mute.
    I think I need another hit
    I'm feeling today.
    Can't lose my grip, just got my lick
    Same as everyday.
     
    Here comes the void, feels like nothing
    take away all the pain
    The potion steal everything
    I think I'm going insane.
     
    Loathsome, Broken
    The only friends I need o know
    forget everything that I've done
    I can pretend I'm nothing
     
    A pale faced stranger stares back  through the looking glass
    As the potion penetrates the brain
    and the loathsome me,
    becomes insane.
     
    All that you fear
    Is thats yet to come
    Everything you should know
    Is coming undone
    I am nobody,
    The lost and forgotten one
    I used to be somebody
    I am the loathsome one.

    American (In)Justice?

    It is so often in this life, that there exists at least 2 perspectives, 2 realities if you will. What is fackt and what is perceived. Of these two, what is perceived is more often the popular viewpoint in society. Things perceived: "Thought to be true", "commonly understood", or "mob rule", and is often in stark contrast to what is factual. What is factual can be charactarized by "practical reality", or " The way things actually are", or "the real world". An excellent example of this duality is in the American System of corrections. There is, of course, "what really happens", or What it's really like" (factual). Then there is the perception of what people "think goes on", or "what they believe it's all about."
     
    Most people who have never had any dealings with the "system" really have no "factual" idea of what its about in my point of view.  Many people will say, "They are criminals, addicts, and/or low life's", and think that people convicted of crimes need to go to jail.  Because our prison system is often referred to as a "correctional system", the percetion is that people will go to jail, and will hopefully learn something there which will help them stop being or doing the things that got them there in the first place (and/or re-offending).  These assumptions about the guilty are usually correct, but the assesment of what will happen to them in "the system" is a "perceived notion" and not "factual".
     
    In jail people have almost no "corrective" programs or activities. People are confined, secured, and left alone among one another 95% of the time, with very little to do. Most jails have very few (if any) programs available to inmates. There is no counseling, no self-improvement or enrichment services, no substance abuse programs, and no plan for the inmate once they are incarcerated.  The only "plan" that there is really, is a sentence, and a date of eventual release or parole. Other than the law library, cheesy romance novels, and church services, all other programs/services are discretionary.  Since jails have been designed to be as cost effective as possible, there is little room in the budget for such "extras". And if a jail system is privately owned and is expected to be profitable (like TDC), the bare minimum is all that generally will be provided (in terms of inmate services) to maximize the systems bottom line profitability! This is the "factual reality" of American Correction systems.
     
    How does this compare to what you think or your "percieved reality" about our system of corrections? To get a unique perspective on jail in America, watch the program "30 days: jail". (Google) In this program, a man goes to jail for 30 days to get a first hand account about what life is like behind bars. It runs on "FX" (Cable tv), and should be available on "shoutcast" (web-tv-streaming), or on videos.aol.com. 
     
    JJ
     
     
    December, 2005

    "Survival of Self"

    11-18-05

    "It never gets easy in jail.  There are times that are not terrible, but losing your ability to direct your life is difficult to deal with.  Like everything else in this world it is possible to adjust to this situation and you do.  Except it's when things don't go down as you think it's going to, or something otherwise dosen't happen as you grow to excpect it that is when you really 'feel' this place.  This leads to a quick point I haven't talked about much.  (YOu stop feeling for the most part) if you want to survive in here, that is, the person who existed before jail and after.  The survival of self can only happen if that part of you is shut down, and left at the door.  I think this is the best way  to handle things, otherwise a person will losse it for sure.  Literally!  So you stop feeling the way you once did to survive, and you grow numb to so much that goes on around you.  The things you miss, sounds, music, people, and placess, all of it just gone for a while.  Heaven help it if something stirs up your concious to remember of those things after you lock it up!  That is a long night let me tell you about it!  So anyway I should already be home.  Monday was the day I should have signed for probation.  Still waiting..."


    December, 2005

    Tenants of Rightous living, while turning away from Self Pity"

    September 30, 2005

    "So I often I have been moved to despair, while hoping for something that I've have worked little to earn.  How can I expect a generous wage for a job that has been left mostly undone?  Is not a harvest the wages of the crop sewn from  the previous  season?   How is it that I have grown accustomed to expecting to reap a plentiful harvest from a crop that  is sewn mostly barron  and terribly  insufficent.  And so it has been time and again that I have tasted the bitterness of failure, and  I have known the pain and despair of losing all that seemed certain in an the blink of an eye.  I have no one to blame, and it really only matters to me why and what.  Sometimes diligence and perseverence wains, or are absent completely from me.  This is really one of those basic things that you have to do when you start to take responsibility for yourself,  your life, your consiquences, and success.  But untill that time we toil like fools prospecting for fake gold, and the expectation is that these wages will bring wealth. Instead you are left with an empty yolk in the place of  a true reward, and has been my nemisis time and again.  So Often have my hopes been found with this treachory, and so often have I  lamented in it's cruelty.  Seeing the error of my ways I am resolved to become one of the deligant, and I desire the ways of the steadfast.  So that I can one day know the joy of a bountiful harvest, and not a harvest of Sorrows, reaping not the whirlwind, but instead sewing the seeds of a prosperous future.  A steady and firm resolve, diligence, and a determination to be the best you can be as much as possible.  These are the things that promise  prosperity and virtuosity as its just reward, and is the real wealth of the rightous."

    "Tenants of a rightous life, and the turning away from self pity and Self Servance"
     Jason Jones

    'A Prayer of Gratitude for Serenity'

    September 29, 2005

    "Today  has fullfilled all of it's promise for me, and I am content.  There is no wrestlessness churrning within my heart this night, for all that I could hope for from this day has been accomplished.  This is not to say that all for which I may have desire now sits upon my plate, but all reasonable expectations for what this day could offer has been fully provided .  I am grateful no doubt that I can say this heartily, and this blessing has brought me enlightment.  This day is no doubt uniqe to me, for seldomn can I say of my past has good fortune and wisdom smiled upon me in such a away at the same instant.  Today I tasted life as real as is possible, today I have lived trully, today I feel free for the first time, though I have no freedom.  Today has been as good a day as I could have hoped for, and of this I am most greatful to you, Lord.  Amen"

    ssd